What Tangled Nets We Leave

(Posted at Stine's request. Read her @ www.stinefarmer.blogspot.com)

All summer, our church has been taking a good hard look at the book at Mark.  What has stood out to me; is this sense that Jesus was incredibly focused on His mission.  I picture Him going around, head forward, zoned in on His purpose.  He is bringing the Kingdom of Heaven to earth, and this is what He is calling his disciples leave their nets to do. 

Meanwhile... as Jesus’ focus is narrowed in, I’m completely distracted by a million things outside of His scope.  I want a car that doesn’t suck, clothes I feel pretty in, safety, clout, and a good for something husband…essentially a nice life.  Don’t get me wrong, I do deeply want to serve God; it’s just I want to serve Him from within this life I have dreamed up. I think somewhere along the line, I had created a loop hole that went something like, “If I am serving the Lord now, He will bless me with the future I want.” (classic misread of Jer 29:11) What makes me think He doesn’t want me to leave my dreams and expectations as well?  

I’m by no means ready to make peace with all of this; it’s painful to imagine letting go of some of my dreams. (not to mention the fact that I have no idea how to really give them up anyway)  But what's my alternative?  I picture myself trying to run around creating my own life, and ending up in a tangled mess of ties to things that are empty and meaningless in light of God’s mission to heal and redeem this world.  

cj