A rare bird

The month of May is sponsored by the peacock!

It all started on the day we celebrate our ability to steal another country's holiday and use it as an excuse to get drunk, Cinco De' Mayo. I went out to lunch with some co-workers and one of them just happened to have sombreros in his trunk for everyone to wear. (don't ask)  As I stood in line to order, 2 nice looking guys asked me about my hat.  Then, at the drink station, another gentleman wanted to know why I had taken my sombrero off. (as if that needs an answer) As I carried my tray outside, a table of suitable bachelors offered my friend and I seats at their table. ...Stop right there, who gets hit on that many times?  Certainly not me.  

I realized that these guys may or may not have all been interested in me, but because they had the sombrero as an "opener" they took their chances and struck up a conversation.

Naturally, after figuring this out, and deciding I was the smartest social scientist in the world, I thought I had discovered the key to drawing the opposite sex in.  After further investigation, I found that this tactic, known as "peacocking" has been used for years.  All you need to do is carry or wear some ridiculous prop around everywhere you go and people will hit on you...so simple!   

Peacocking was even featured in a training video:

I do hope this has all been very helpful for you. Do know that if you 

decide to practice "peacocking" you won't be alone. Just this 

weekend, Miss Morgan was hit on by a very nice man wearing a 

lavender "life is good" moo moo and cowboy hat during the Lakers 

game.

*It just so happens his last name was also Peacock so I can neither 

confirm nor deny that he was actually "peacocking" or if it was just a 

freak coincidence.

Good luck out there!

Cindy De' Miles to go

what I wish my blog was like

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com

check it out, you'll be glad you did!

*special thanks to Miss Morgan for sending me the link

must love dogs

At exactly 6:23 a.m. this morning, I decided to take action against my crazy dog lady neighbor for the first time by explaining to her in my outside voice that it's, "Too early to walk 5 dogs under my window!"  

A few minutes later, I left the house to pick up the 6th grade girls I have Bible study with.  As I waited outside of their apartments, I saw another crazy dog lady, out, taking her dog on a walk... at 6:50a.m.

Now, how come these ladies who can't manage to stay off the rock, pull out their scrunchies, (more on this to come), and avoid flip flops with daises on them, can have the wherewithal to keep a pet?  And not just keep a pet, take care of a pet. At some point, they manage to stop by a PetSmart and pick up a nice blue leash and treats,  but seem to miss every produce aisle and rehab house along the way.  

Anyone know?

The Miseducation from Over the Bridge

Episode 1 : never ask questions

Me: "Your quincenera dress turned out!"

Stella: "No, I wore a different one."

Me: "Serious? After months of fittings?! What happened?"

Stella: "We went to pick it up and he couldn't give it to us."

Me: "Why?"

Stella: "He messed it up making the bra?"

Me: "Making the bra?"

Stella: "Ya, I guess when he painted on it... "

Me: "Why was he painting your bra?"

Stella: "because, and supuestamente it got burnt."

Me: "WHAT? The paint burned the bra?...well..."

Stella: "Ya, it burned it."

Me: "...What did you do?"

Stella: "We said we wouldn't pay him, and he said if we didn't, he would cancel my limo. "

Me: "There is so much wrong with this..."

Stella: "My Uncle is handling it"

shes got game

Every culture seems to have their own way of helping their young ladies find, attract, and keep their desired male.  Last Saturday, I attended a quinceanera for one of the girls that I mentor, and learned a little about their way of doing things.  On their 15th birthdays, girls are presented to the community of men as "of age", and pranced around in a huge dress surrounded by a harem of suitable bachelors.  Let the games begin!Well, needless to say, I'm not Hispanic;) and I feel that my, for all intensive purposes, white suburban culture has taught me to be a little less obvious.  We've been told that "A way to a man's heart is through his stomach".  For whatever reason, I have always resisted this idea.  If we went to college together, and you were a girl baking for a boy, I was most definitely talking bad about you behind your back.  I have always believed that I would never bake to get a guy's attention, and that he would love me for my mind and personality.  Well, last week I found myself baking up a frenzy, and sinking for the first time to these 1950's tactics.  I searched high and low for award winning recipes, and even did a practice run in order to impress a guy (well his family really).  I figured I may as well wave my progressive white flag and follow in the steps of my female predecessors.  As I left the house that evening, feeling like my pies where the stuff 50 year anniversaries were made of,  I was sure that I was finally going about this the right way.

Would you believe that no one from his family ever even tasted my baked goods?  Nope, not one freaking bite.  What did I walk away with?  Oh, a job offer, which one can only assume I earned with my mind.  

How do you like them apples?